dawn batesThe feeling of disappointment is a heavy one to carry.

And yet, so many of us are either disappointed with ourselves, our lives, our career and yet make all the excuses under the sun, moons and stars to let ourselves off the hook.

When it comes to authoring and publishing a book the level of disappointment many feel is deep.

As an author of some hard hitting subjects I knew my audience would be for a more discerning type.

Knowing that the book market is swamped with so much mediocrity (at best) making a book stand out is crucial.

People are drowning in information, bombarded with the ‘Pick me! Pick me!’ energy from the school playground that coaches, authors, podcasters and spiritual healers are throwing at them.

With technology the way it is, it is so easy for everyone to become an Internet star, or at least try to be.

From 5 years old children twerking it on TikTok to the aging silver surfers causing mayhem whilst they record themselves just going about their day, everyone has a need to be seen and heard.

I find it fascinating and sad that as individuals, and as a human collective, we have an intense need to be seen and approved of by so many strangers.

Getting on line is easy, competing with the Alpha males of white America, the ones dominating stages of the business world, and podcasting platforms, not so easy.


Because those new to the scene are trying to compete with someone who created a career 10, 20, 30 years ago when the white noise was more of a silent yet deadly fart that quickly disappeared.

I’ve been coaching and mentoring clients now for over 20 years, and have created a lifestyle which suits me, one where my life private is private.

Baring all on social media from the full on cleavage shot, to the bikini up the arse crack, leg twisted, stomach sucked in after having lived on 3 eggs a day for the last 2 weeks, and the trout pout perfected is not my thing.

My location is hidden, and the photos I do share from my travels around the world, are few and far between.

Much of what you’ll find is connected to raising awareness of social justice in one way or another, all connected to my higher vision of serving humanity and being part of a movement to leave the world in a much better state than it was in when I arrived.

Writing books of a social justice nature and highlighting human rights violations was never going to be easy.

But then again the people who live through and experience the things I write about don’t have it easy.

People are more interested with hiding themselves under a shit tonne of make up and filters, than understanding why they feel the need to do that.

With the use of pronouns to describe ourselves now becoming popularised, I am left shaking my head at the absurdity and sadness of it all.

Are we really that insecure we have now got to the point of reducing ourselves to a pronoun?

Another level of divide and conquer?

Another label or title to gain attention?

As if the lime green hair and drag make up just to pop to the shops for some sugar wasn’t enough, people are now having to know each other as a pronoun rather than a beautiful human being?

For me, all of the above is all connected.

The need to be seen, to be picked, and to be heard, all stem from us ignoring the real underlying issues of our societies.

The traumas of bullying, of self neglect, of doing the bare minimum but expecting the world to fall at our feet.

The need to perform like performing monkeys in the hope that we’ll get enough likes and reviews to feel validated.

Or the authors who write a great book but then don’t do the work to promote themselves or their books in a way that attracts their readers, new clients or the coveted price of being picked by one of the ‘Top 5’.

Rolling our sleeves up and assessing the situation, understanding who we are and why we have written said books, and then getting to work isn’t rocket science.

Especially if we’ve worked with a coach who knows what they are doing and have shared all their knowledge to help us to create the life we’ve been dreaming about.

Understanding our books and how they relate to what’s going on in the world, understanding the dynamics of business, using different strategies for different aspects of society all essential if we want to make a living from our books.

All we have to do is understand ourselves, our market and stop making excuses for not achieving the success we want, and say we want.

Being successful in anything means you need to leave your excuses at the door, and put some good old fashioned elbow grease into whatever it is you are working towards. 

Choosing to be happy with yourself means not comparing yourself to others, or trying to compete with them; and adding a pronoun to your identity won’t make you happy either.

It’s just another piece of media manipulation and attention seeking that you’ve been told you need to feel validated and seen.

You don’t, you just need to choose yourself and stop making excuses and blaming others for the problems you have experienced.

And just like all the authors, podcasters and coaches out there who do not have the sales or impact they are wanting,

It’s time to stop with the excuses, and time to start expecting more from ourselves than we expect from the people we expect to keep spoon feeding us.

Because let me tell you this, the more impact I have in the world, the more beautiful messages of gratitude I receive from those who read my books, the more I know I have to write the books I write, and get them out into the hands of the people.

Writing books in what is one of the hardest genres to write, one where people would prefer to read that Jack Reacher is coming to the rescue, was always going to need a carefully thought out strategy, as well as a lot of energy work, talent and skill.

And if I can create a successful business and the lifestyle I have writing the kind of books I write, then there are definitely no excuses for those who write the easy to read books which help people escape from their life teach them something or feel good about themselves.

The only difference is, I don’t make excuses, because I know what I want, and nothing and no one is going to stop me.