I’ve never been good at goodbyes, even though as a nomad, I move on a lot.
Saying goodbye to new friends at the weekend, some which I now considered family, especially after spending five weeks in the jungle with them, was incredibly hard for me.
Why?
Because in the jungle you face your fears, some you know you have, and those which creep up behind you more silent than the huge spiders lurking in the shadows.
There is also a level of vulnerability and trust that you must open yourself up to, one which has you on your guard for the deadly snakes slithering around, dodging the manzana de agua fruit being thrown from the cheeky spider monkeys in the trees above, and the newly released parrots flying around your head.
Oh and then there are the scorpions which like to take up resident in your outdoor shower, and the multitude of crabs which make their way up from the beach – one of which hitched a ride in my hair after an ocean swim, and got discovered about 10 minutes later when I felt ‘something’ in my hair.
Going through all this you need a team of supportive people, people you can trust, ones who know what they are doing, and you need a level of energetic connection to know you can trust them – and that they are not just on the take.
Before I arrived in the jungle I would have squealed and screamed, jumped around from one foot to another waving my hands around in a the air like a crazy lady – but after being woken up throughout the night by the call of the mono-congo monkeys – which to be honest, has to be one of the most unsettling noises I have heard in a very long time – my fears started falling away.
If you have never heard the sound of a mono congo monkey, it sounds like a cross between the sound of an animal giving birth, fighting for their life, protecting the troop with a warning sign, and a celebration of life – and when they are in the tree right outside your windowless window, that is a loud frightening sound at 3:30am waking you up from your sleep!
Facing my fears on so many levels, whilsting working on three client books, writing articles and preparing all the title checklists, artwork and press releases with my team for the clients releases has put me through my paces, and made me realise I needed to up my game and kill off parts of my self – the self-sabotaging parts.
Add into the mix creating more content for my Author Academy and writing Faith: Leaving Religion to Save Your Soul – the fifth book in The Sacral Series – a book I had written 35,000 words for before deleting it all to start over – something I encourage my learners in my 7 Week Author Course to do if things are not flowing – jungle life was good for me.
And I miss it.
There were many deaths of the layered ego, deaths and depths of fears released and perspectives which were challenged, challenging and painful for me to lean into; but lean into them I had to. There was no other option – not for me any way you chose to look at it.
I asked myself the questions:
- Should I be in society with the shit shows going on and the way I think?
- Do I want to be around the fickle mindedness of those who choose to ‘follow the new illusion’ series of game shows we’ve seen on a repeating four year cycle?
- And…
- Do I want to be around people who are just so triggered all the time by someone who has the confidence to speak their mind?
And these were doubled sided coins.
Not just because I didn’t want to be around those described above, but because I know I ‘trigger the fuck’ out of people – some of you have even just been triggered by the “F-Bomb” – and there is still a part of me who doesn’t want to upset people, or hurt others.
And here’s why.
Because some people are not ready to be triggered mentally or emotionally. I know I’m not ready with certain areas of my life, but the difference is, I welcome the trigger. I don’t point the finger at others blaming them.
I look at all the steps leading up to said event and what I know of the person/people, and then offer up gratitude because at that point I have an opportunity to either run or hide, or look inwards and face whatever comes up.
And as always, I turned within and address every single trigger that came up for me and I can tell you I cried.
Daily.
A couple of the days I even removed myself from everyone and hid in my work so I could process what was going on with my latest book
The Potent Power of Menopause: A Culturally Diverse Perspective of Feminine Transformation curated with Clarissa Kristjansson – which is due for release on the 11th May.
Turning inside I faced my inner girl, the shy girl who didn’t trust the world after her father told her mother to have her adopted because he didn’t want her. I discovered that I didn’t trust people at their word, nor did I really trust their actions. Daddy wounds run deep, right?
Those of you who have read Moana – and The Trilogy of Life Itself – you will have a much better idea of all the other reasons I have a hard time trusting people than those of you who haven’t read the books.
Reymar and Jahza, the two lads who own Dolphin Quest use the strapline:
“A jungle family and eco-lodge in the Golfo Dulce healing travelers through raw, unfiltered adventures”
And holy frickin moly did the jungle experience and being part of ‘the jungle family’ bring stuff up for me! Especially when a family turned up, and then a week later two young lads the age of my eldest son turn up. Mama emotions were flying all over the place!
Having said this, speaking with my two sons when internet was possible, they would tell me that are incredibly proud of me, as are my parents. They all know how much of a big deal for me it was being around that many creepy crawlies and wild animals. And I have to say I am incredibly proud of myself too!
Put me out in the middle of the ocean I can handle it, but in the jungle? Where I can’t see the sky, or a way out, with all the spiders, bugs, noises I don’t recognise and the stifling humidity? Yeah, I am WAY out of my comfort zone.
And I am glad for the whole experience, including the family stuff which came up, which if I am truly honest with myself starting coming up when I was at Belafonte with my ‘familia Colombiana’. The force field was weakened then because of those I lived with.
The biggest breakthrough for me during my time in the jungle was when I was invited out for a family lunch which turned out to be a ‘pub crawl’ on the jungle crew’s day off. For those of you who know me personally, you’ll know I have never really enjoyed being around the pub scene or around drunken people…
…Especially when it involves being on a boat with people who are plastered – which Reymar totally understood. Both of us shared with each other how we do very quick calculations on who would be worth saving and who can save themselves.
Sounds harsh but the idealistic view of saving as many people as possible is all well and good, but in my opinion, if someone is drunk and they are a risk to themselves and others – and it comes down to saving them putting me at a risk of drowning and never seeing my sons again – then the drunks are the ones who will get left behind.
EVERY. TIME.
What people fail to realise is this: the moment anyone sets foot on a boat, they are responsible for the lives of the others on board either directly or indirectly. You are either a liability or an asset; or as I like to say “You are either by my side or in my way – choose wisely”.
Now I didn’t come up with that quote, I am just sharing something I read somewhere. Now as a writer and an author, doing the research on who said which quote before publishing to make sure we are not infringing copyright laws is essential.
With the amount of regurgitated quotes on instagram, and ownership being difficult to prove, it is necessary we authors have a very good understanding of the different copyright laws in the different countries around the world.
A minefield for sure, and something I encourage the learners on my 7 Week Author Course to take care of because when it gets to the final stages of publishing, it is always a great idea to hire a specialist proofreader who knows the laws on plagarism and copyright, trigger warnings, grammars from multiple varieties of a language.
Going through the 7 Week Author Course to make sure everything was up to date, and re-recording the training videos was another realisation of how much I have grown. Another adios amigo to an older version of self.
The content may have been only 3 years old, but EVERYTHHING had a make over – including me! The modules were quadrupaled, the activities and exercises expanded upon, and new content added – and already the results are speaking for them selves, which is pretty cool!
With a business blueprint creation process, some deep coaching on mindset, beliefs, values and morals – and inviting my learners to think about every aspect of writing and publishing a book, whilst also creating the author life they wish to create, I was loving every minute of updating the content.
When I get feedback like this:
“All I can say is this – DO THE COURSE! It’s a no brainer! Seriously, Not only does Dawn give you a business blueprint to work through, she gives you some insights and perspectives that will blow you away! The ransom money idea made me look at EVERYTHING I was doing in my business and made me see just how small I have been playing! Thanks for a great course Dawn! So glad I took a ‘deep dive’ with you!”
Joe Carter – England
I have been told it is worth more than I am asking for and that I should at least double the price:
“I am now writing more than 1500 words more per day and I am only half way through the course, and my vision for is so much clearer than ever – thank you Dawn”
Dagmar Torres – USA
so being given this feedback has also made me look at the pricing and the results my learners are having and just how much the course will continue to be; again a need to see who I am being, and if I am valuing myself and my expertise enough.
Seeing our value, letting go of ego, killing off parts of our life and self may seem scary to many people, but isn’t eating sugar, processed food, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarattes also killing them, albeit slowly?
Surely it is better to kill off the things holding you back in life than put these nasty chemicals (and unnecessary injections) into your body, mind and energetic field?
Either way, as you can see, my jungle time was powerful, and I will always be incredibly grateful to the new members of my extended family around the world.
Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, remember you are the one who holds the key to your success and ultimate life.
Don’t let anyone stop you from becoming the best version of you, not even you!
Ciao for now!
D x
P.S. For those serious about becoming a successful author, make sure you invest in your future career by buying my 7 Week Author Course
I am offering a special Easter discount of 22% off the normal price – and it is only available until the end of Easter Monday 18th April! You can claim you Easter delight by entering the coupon code: holymoly into the checkout box at the end.