Did your parents ever say to you the following phrase “I’m working my backside off just to keep a roof over your head!”?
Or words to that effect?
Did you watch them work themselves ragged, exhausted at the end of each day, and the beginning of the next because they were working three and four jobs just to keep that roof, and to feed and clothe you?
Whether this was your experience or not, one of the things I’ve learnt over the years is that so many of us, especially women, still have this kind of narrative playing in the depths of our subconscious.
It doesn’t seem to matter how much we hustle, how much we do, how much we strategise, there are those of us who are always running from the fear of losing the roof over our head.
And with the planned recession starting to grip people in the fear of losing even more than they’ve already lost over these past two years, the world of business is about to witness an even greater seismic shift between the rich and the poor once again.
Which is what the powers that be want. Division.
Mental health issues.
Because then we are all easier to control and manipulate.
Those of us who refuse to be held in fear will rise.
We will get creative.
We will step forward yet again into the unknown and we will succeed to unprecedented levels, levels which will surprise even us.
For many the idea of investing in materials, trainings, asset creation, and writing a book to showcase who we are ‘behind the brand’ is unthinkable during these times, choosing instead to hustle from Dawn to Dusk… and still feel like we are drowning.
This was how I felt back in 2014, and then again in 2015 through to 2017.
Rebuilding my life as a single mum, building a business and fighting a court case which should never have happened, I worked stupid hours, fell asleep at my desk, and on the couch whilst studying the law – because I couldn’t afford to pay a lawyer to do it all.
And although I was afraid, I knew I could rise, and I would be successful again.
I knew that regardless of who stood by me, who walked away, and who doubted me, it didn’t matter, because I had got my own back.
I knew the situation I was in, what I was going through, and although others professed to understand, I knew they had no idea what I was going through, because how could they?
They were not living the nightmare I was living. They were not dealing with what I was dealing with, and would never be dealing with what I was dealing with because no two lives are ever the same.
And yet, my story is no different to the lives of many others.
We feel like we are alone and no one will, or can, understand what we are going through.
We continue to hustle, continue to put marketing out there, continue to network, continue to make sales calls, send sales emails and follow up on referrals and leads…
And yet no one seems to bite.
Until they do.
A bit like fishing for that great big marlin out in the Pacific Ocean that we see jumping out of the ocean on the starboard side… it’s within reach, and we’re wondering how we are going to catch it?
And then we do.
There are folks who are so comfortably off that they have either forgotten what it is like to secure that big deal, or they have always been oblivious to the lack of integrity their promise to work with or pay someone has.
A friend of mine used to work in the finance department of a big corporate, and now she’s the CEO of her own firm.
Over lunch one day she told me how her activist within was rising when it came to paying invoices.
“I will never allow myself to delay payment of an invoice to a small company ever again. It is the make or break of a business and I do not want to be responsible for a company going under just because I am comfortable and don’t need to worry about finances any more.”
Music to every small business owner and solopreneur’s ears.
I learnt years ago to not wait for others to say yes to an opportunity, to just keep going, and if the person missed the opportunity I presented, then they missed it.
“You snooze, you lose”, as they say.
All of the hardships I have been through, that you have been through, and that we have all be through collectively are the foundations for our success.
Or they are the fuel for the fire which we sit and burn in, feeling sorry for ourselves and our situation.
A fire we can choose to rise from or a fire that sees us through to our demise.
Alchemy is a powerful tool, and when we look back at all our achievements in the past, all the times we have risen, we will begin, or continue, to get to the point of asking ourselves the following questions:
- How many more times is this cycle of feast and famine going to happen?
- How many more times will I be down on my knees before I finally make it BIG?
- How many more hours will I have to hustle, existing on nothing but pure adrenalin and fatigue?
- When is this struggle going to be over?
- How much more do I need to invest to breakthrough this pattern of struggle?
The truth is, the struggle is over when we say it is over.
It is over when we choose to stop focusing on the struggle and start focusing on the success and gratitude.
It isn’t easy, in fact it can be the darkest nights of the soul we will ever experience, especially when we add into the mix the journey of Menopause and stepping into the second phase of our life!
Scaling a business, growing a family, climbing a mountain, sailing an ocean all bring unknowns, and it is how we ride those waves of the unknown which will accelerate us forward.
It is the acknowledgement of, and the getting present to who we are, and the journey of life we have had which will fill us with deep gratitude and see us transform our own self belief and our results.
And it is this transformational process I love holding space for when I am coaching someone through their journey of writing a book about their life, whether I am their biographer or their author coach.
Many successful people still suffer from imposter syndrome, many still are not present to who they truly are for others.
PR and marketing departments have created a persona many successful business and community leaders feel trapped by, not knowing how to break free.
Until they meet me.
The common thread with all of the above is when will the feelings of fear, worry, feeling trapped or imposter syndrome be enough?
- How suffocated by it all will we need to feel before we break the shackles and show up as ourselves?
- How afraid of being homeless will we need to feel before we work those three jobs to simply pay our bills?
- How many sales calls and follow ups will we make before we realise we are slogging a dead horse or backing a winner?
We are the powerful creators of our own destiny, not the governments, not the recessions, not our marketing or PR team, and certainly not the negative narratives of our past.
So take a moment, breathe.
Get immensely grateful for all of who you are, all you have learnt, experienced and witnessed and start to see how magnificent you truly are.
You are not your current circumstances, you are your future unfolding, so allow yourself to blossom.
Your struggle is done.
And the past is past.
Leave it there.
And if you want to really truly get present to who you are and want to write a book to add credibility to your success story, and your own sense of self-belief, then book a call with me using this link.
You deserve to see who you are.
And you are the greatest role model many people have ever had, so trust that.
For the world.
With no pressure.
And love of the journey.