With so many mums, single or otherwise, running around after their children, taking care of the home and working either one or two jobs just to keep their head above water, is it any wonder they have little time to spend on themselves?
Many of us end up making a cup of tea we never finish, neglecting our own wardrobes just to make sure our chidlren have everything they need, never getting a haircut, and doing everything double quick time just to fit everything in our day often falling into bed exhausted; only to wake up and repeat the same exhausting schedule the day after.
As mums we often let ourselves ‘go’. We eat the wrong foods, often eating to fill that void within us. We stay in relationships that do not serve us, keep friends that we’ve known for years that sabotage us, and we isolate ourselves because we are just too tired to go out. We run around after everyone else, making sure everyone else is OK, running our batteries down so low that we have nothing left; only charging the batteries of our mobile phones.
We worry about our kids, worry that we are not being the perfect mother, wife and friend. We don’t even have time to make the time to reflect on who we are or what we truly want in life and many of us end up on anti-depressants because we feel we are failing.
We forget to nourish ourselves. We forget who we are and before we know it, we are unrecognisable to ourselves. We don’t live or thrive, we simply survive.
So why is it we do this?
Why do we neglect ourselves so much?
Why do we always place ourselves last on the list of priorities?
Why do we place expectations upon ourselves that are borrowed from others, from society? Put pressure on ourselves to be who we think we shoud be, rather than being who we really want to be?
Why do we have such little respect for ourselves that we would dishonour who we are just for the sake of another person?
In today’s society we are told that we have to look a certain way, have the latest things and do so many things that do not sit right with us, just so we are not criticised as a mother and ultimately as a woman. We place other peoples opinions of ourselves before what we truly think of ourselves. We end up in a viscious circle of negative thoughts of not being good enough, and soon those beliefs borrowed from our parents, friends and society eat away at us that we give up. Everything seems impossible, we have no choices and there is no escape. We are stuck. Stuck in a life that is so suffocating that we cannot breathe. We feel invisible, unheard, unworthy and unloved. We push people away and end up becoming a martyr for our children, our partners and the sacrificial lamb of society.
We tell ourselves we don’t have time to get our hair done, go to the spa or work out in the gym; but we do. We have the same amount of time as everybody else in the world, we simply choose not to make time for ourselves/ We book meetings with others, but never ourselves.
We choose a man to have children with, but never allow them to parent the children, often criticising him because he doesn’t do it the right way, our way. This puts strain on the relationships, often resulting in the man giving up, thinking what’s the point, staying late at work, or staying out late with his mates, and the ultimate kick int eh teeth for any mother, he finds himself another woman, a more energetic woman, younger perhaps, without kids, without the impossible schedule we have imposed upon ourselves; which then adds to the story we tell ourselves that we are not worth loving, compounding our lack of self belief, self love and self worth.
The self talk that us women have is so damaging that if a friend was to say the things we say to ourselves, we wouldn’t be friends with them, but we allow ourselves to say it. We wear our criticims of ourselves in our frown lines, on our hips and stomach and in the clothes we wear. We wear our hair, not as a crown of glory, but as a damaged and broken badge of honour because we are trying to prove to the world we are a good mother, because we don’t have time for ourselves.
AND WE NEED TO STOP!!
WE NEED TO HONOUR OURSELVES.
WE NEED TO LOVE OURSELVES.
WE NEED TO RESPECT OURSELVES.
WE NEED TIME FOR OURSELVES.
WE NEED TO RID OURSELVES OF THOSE WHO DO NOT SERVE US.
WE NEED TO CLEANSE OUR ENVIRONMENT OF TOXIC PEOPLE.
Because if we do not take this valuable time out for ourselves, we will teach our daughters they are the sacrificial lamb, that they too should give up on who they are when they beceom a partner and a mother. We teaach our boys to dishonour women, we teach them they are simply a bank account or a sperm donour with no real skills of paretning and husbandry, resulting in them not wanting to become parents, or wanting to commit to a realtionship fully.
I’m not saying that we as women are to blame for all the problems in society, far from it, but we are inadvertantly creating a cycle of events that have been passed on from generation to generation, and the negative patterns of behaviour need to STOP.
If we as women do not take time out to have a meeting with ourselves, investing time in our physical fitness, our personal growth, our education, our inner peace or booking time in the spa for a massage, facial, mani/pedi or time in the salon getting our hair done for US to be taken care of; we are teaching our daughters and nieces that women should put themselves last each and everytime when given the choose to take care of others or ourselves.
As women, as mothers, as partners we need to stop looking in toxic magazines criticisng other women and the way they look, dress and live life. We have to stop the negative self talk… and we NEED TO RISE!!
We need to make time for ourselves. We need to raise our levels of self worth, raise our energy levels, raise our opinion of ourselves and rise up like the goddesses that we are, we truly are, the ones deep down within ourselves. The ones we have pushed down, deep down within ourselves because self love and self worth have been demonised in the media.
We need to take time out for ourselves, dig deep and ask ourselves what we truly want, anf go after it! If we are going to teach our children to be the best version of themselves, to do their best and to follow their dreams, then we have to do this to. We have to lead by example, and that means loving ourselves so much, our batteries are full, our energy contagious and our smiles so abundant we are not jsut beautiful, we are radiant! We radiate the beautiful light within us and we thrive, raising our children into the kind of live we have always wanted them to have. Raising them to be the superstars that they are, because they have learnt that from us. We are not here to be maids to our children, we are their mothers. We are not prisoners of children, we are warrior women who have the power to bring life into this world, and if we can grow, feed and give birth… we can do anything!
It is time to change our stories ladies, it is time to love, honour and obey our soul before we love, honour and obey another, it is time to raise children, raise them in a high vibrational environment… because vibrations always lead to immense joy and satisfaction! ;)
With love to each and everyone of you ladies out there who are struggling. Remember you have got everything you need deep within you, you have the power within you to make the changes you so desperately want to make to live a life you love. You owe it to yourself, and your future.
Rise up sister, rise up.
The world is waiting for you to shine your light.
Give yourself permission to be the woman you always wanted to be, and the universe and sisterhood will support you.
Always remember, you are loved. Always.
It will take time, it will take courage because there will be sacrifices along the way. I know, it had taken me years to finally get it, but now I am I am living a life I love, living my dream and honouring myself, stepping back for my boys and my ex husband to step up into their power. So believe it is possible. Go book that appointinment at the hair salon, go join that evening class, go do that exercise class, walk away from those in your life that do not make you happy, GO DO YOU!!
(And if you are in Mackay Australia, go to J&R HAir, they’ll spoil you! Make you feel a million dollars, and nourish you with healthy snacks and a head massage as well as giving you a new crown to wear!)