What are my options?

Have you ever sat down, written “What are my options?” at the top of the page and then just sat there?

Then distracted yourself with this task, and then that task, before closing the journal and making yourself something to eat, just to avoid looking at what’s possible?

Yeah me too.

In fact, I did it again this morning.

Here I am, supposed to be on a global book tour, sailing around the world, and I am quarantined in a country where the restriction of movement is far stricter than government control restrictions in Egypt during the Uprising ten years ago.

Now that might sound a bit extreme, but trust me, not being able to travel more than 5 blocks in any  direction, without permission papers, is a bit of a head fuck to be honest with you.

And yes, I know everyone is going through their own challenges in their own country, but to face arrest and a minimum of 6 months in jail for being more than 5 blocks from your quarantine home, not even my Mum is that strict!

I am itching to get going again, and I have had to re-frame this whole situation on a regular basis.

“I am waiting for the trade winds” is something I have reminded myself many times, and at this rate, it will more than likely be the case.

“I’ve got lots of work to be doing” and I have, new courses being launched, new clients coming on board, and a new book being written.

“It’s all Divine Timing, so what can I learn from this?” is a great journaling questions I have been diving deep into.

“This is happening for a reason, so what can I be grateful for during this time?” is another great journaling question and reveals to us just how lucky we are to have a place to stay, family to miss and the internet to connect with them all.

And you know what, this is all happening for a reason, and the reasons are as vast as the open oceans I wish I was on right now.

Each and every single one of us will have become aware of what, and who, is really important to us, and if we’ve been smart, we will have used this quarantine time to grow and evolve in each area of our lives.

The ladies and I at the House of Preeminence Magazine  have launched the magazine, and released three breathtaking issues.  We have held our first event and have another one coming up on the 16th June: The Ultimate Alignment makeover

The magazine has been hailed as the new ‘O’ magazine and leaves magazines such as ‘Entrepreneur’ flat and lifeless.  Editor in Chief Jenni P Parker Brown has done an incredible job leading us all and creating such a luxurious experience for all you ambitious female entrepreneurs out there.

The One Tribe Magazine has also had a makeover both in terms of branding and design, as well as new guest writers. Subscribers to the magazine are getting ‘more bang for their buck’ than ever before and loving the personal and professional growth that goes with it.

I’ve almost finished my next book, a biography about an incredible woman, which will be published and launched in the next 6 weeks.

The Phoenix Rising 21 Day Challenge is creating some incredible results in the lives of the ladies who are taking part, not to mention providing daily accountability as well as insights and inspiration by the ocean load.

The ladies are using the challenge to dive deep into a new projects, side hustles, career and lifestyle goals, community projects and using it as the kick up the backside they were needing.

All the delays provided the Divine Timing needed to release it now, not to mention a gift of a great deal of learning for all involved in bringing it to fruition along the way.

Knowing my work is supporting more women achieve their goals, put a spring back in their step, a smile on their face and radiate with joy from deep within makes me incredibly happy. 

As I ask myself ‘What are my options?’ right now, I am revisiting all the knowledge I have poured into the Phoenix Rising Challenge.  It’s not enough for me to create it and sell it, I too have to live by the principles I am encouraging others to invest in.

Checking out the relevant embassy websites, the latest quarantine guidelines, and finding nothing new has been updated since March, April or May is a tad frustrating.

The British Embassy website is about as useful as a chocolate fireguard and the Argentinian one is even worse, if that’s at all possible!

I check news sites, ask the locals what the news is reporting.  I check out international news websites and see more and more fear mongering and inconsistency in the information shared around the world.

When you consider the new findings on how this whole COVID-19 is impacting other countries, how they are treating and dealing with the situation, I find myself wishing I was already in Madagascar.

Madagascar is one of the destinations on my ocean circumnavigation, and my arrival there means I am almost at the finish line.

I say almost because there will still be the rest of the Indian Ocean to sail, and then up into Asia, Indonesia and Australia to do before I cross the Tasman Sea back into New Zealand.

I have a list of activities I want to achieve before I leave Argentina, but until quarantine rules are lifted, then like everyone else here, I just have to be patient and crack on with my work.

Speaking with my children via Zoom and Skype is the highlight of my day.  I last hugged my eldest in July last year and my youngest in August, breathing in their very essence is something I long for.

Not being with them for this long was not part of the original plan I can tell you, and I cannot even begin to tell you how much I look forward to the day I get to see them in person, hugging the life out of them.

Being away from everyone I know, not having friends or family to hug, is incredibly difficult at times.

I’d only just arrived in South America for the next leg of the trip just 8 weeks before quarantine went into full on beast mode.

My trip into Central America has been delayed quite considerably, but the plus side is, all these delays have gifted me the time to prepare for the North American part of the book tour.

So, although I am quarantined in Argentina, restricted more than ever before, there are still plenty of options for me to create positive and powerful change in the world from my laptop and beautiful apartment.

It may not have an ocean view, but the marina is just down the road, and the locals are already calling me ‘mi amor’ in the shops, knowing what I like and making me feel very welcome.

I have the best landlords, and ‘tia’ aka ‘Aunty’ is taking great care of me.  The fact that I am just like one of the family, and she is also a sailor girl and has lived on a boat for 9 years, also adds to the unexpected bonuses of being quarantined.

Asking myself ‘What are my options?’ always leads me to a full on dose of gratitude, and allows me to see the unexpected bonuses.

In that space we get to appreciate the challenges we face and get present to just how wonderful our lives really are… and that can only be a great thing, wouldn’t you agree?


Pay yourself first

When you remove the aspect of money from the statement of ‘Pay yourself first’, what are you left with?

What else can you pay yourself with?

Many people will consider money the only thing they have to pay themselves with.

They will not consider the elements of paying themselves respect or compliments first, having been raised to believe that to compliment yourself is to be boastful.

What we choose to pay ourselves is a way of acknowledging our self worth and a way of understanding the impact we are having on others, directly and indirectly.

Take for example the work of a coach, the breakthroughs our clients have on the call, the knowledge and insights they gain, the actions they take each and every day of their lives after the calls, and the results they create in their lives moving forward.

Now some of us may offer a discount on our fees to see another thrive, I know I have many times. Serving others and seeing them rise is a great feeling.

But what happens after these people have got what they wanted and moved on to the next level coach?

Do they remember the foundations built with us, and the impact the sessions have really had?

This morning I was reminded of my time in Egypt as a Class Teacher.

Seeing a photo of a few of my students brought a lump to my throat, and I wondered if these children still thought of me as I think of them.

I know many of my FS1 students remember me because their parents still share with me things they are remembering about our classes together and the phrases they learnt from me, such as:

Small changes make a big difference,

such as change the ‘a’ in ‘fat’ to an ‘i’ and you get ‘fit’.

One of my students Ahmed remembered this so much he took my teachings on earting well and recently won a gold medal for his Egyptian swim team.

Can I take the glory for that? No, Ahmed took the coaching and ran with it, making it his own, but that seed was still planted when we worked together, by me sharing my knowledge, love and excitement with him.

I remember my first teacher.  Mrs Daisly her name was.  In fact, I can tell you all about my teachers, in fact if you read my first book Friday Bridge, you’ll see who these teachers went on to transform my life, especially Ms Eddon.

Ask me the name of any of my coaches, mentors and trainers, and I’ll be able to tell you. I acknowledge them still to this day by referring others to them, and by remaining in contact with them.

I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the people who have guided me, mentored and coached me… and kicked my backside with some of the harshest truths I have had in my life…

(Well apart from my mother and ex-husband, but that’s for another blog on another day).

Loyalty is a core value of mine, and I have had to learn to be more loyal to myself by paying myself compliments and acknowledging myself.

Paying others compliments and acknowledging them is a great thing to do, but it can lead to us taking away from our own part of the journey. 

Gifting others the praise instead of ourselves is a form of self sabotage, because many times we forget that we also showed up to the calls, did the work, sat with the discomfort and allowed ourselves to be coached.

How many of us look to others for validation, when the validation we need, is the validation we give ourselves.

When we are not paying ourselves compliments first, and acknowledging our own journey, with all the twists and turns, bumps and potholes along the way, then we are doing ourselves a huge disservice.

When you consider the time and effort you have put into something, and the results you have achieved, don’t you think you should pay yourself first with a compliment or two?

What about all the bills you have coming in, that need to be paid? How are you going to pay for those if you haven’t acknowledged your own journey, skills and experience and priced your services and times accordingly?

And it’s not about the money to be honest with you.

It’s about the ability to pay yourself first with the integrity of your word to be the best version of self, to gift yourself the knowledge that you are worth more than you think you are.

To deliver on your promises, by understanding what you are saying, and of course what you are not saying.

Paying yourself first with the self belief that you are worthy of a life made up of ease and flow, without stressing that you have ‘too much to do’, or ‘do not enough time in the day’ is paramount.

Understanding the difference between a cost, investment and a debt in the non monetary sense is fundamental to any kind of growth, whether it is personal, professional or business.

When you gift yourself time in the morning to just BE, to spend time downloading the thoughts into a journal is the ability to pay yourself first each day with the gift of serenity, clarity of mind and inner peace.

Making sure you are able to pay your bills on time and in full, with ease and flow, is the ability to pay yourself first the ‘respect you deserve’ because you have charged your time accordingly, and chosen the right people to work with.

Being able to pay yourself first with sleep and exercise is honouring your body and mind, so you can honour your higher self; paying your future dreams the opportunity to materialise. 

Saying you want one thing and doing something else which jeopardises the thing you want is paying yourself a dishonour and a disservice.

So I invite you today to look at how you are paying yourself, and in what order you are paying yourself.

What are you paying yourself?

What does your future look like if you continue on this path you are currently on?

And what will your future look like if you choose to pay yourself first all the non monetary gifts the world has to offer?

Ladies you can find out more what your future looks like by gifting yourself the Phoenix Rising Challenge, 21 Days of getting to know yourself on a whole new level, getting present to who you really are and the value you bring to the world.

Because let’s face it, when we hear and see the positive impact we have on the lives of others we can’t help but feel that warm fuzzy glow.

Imagine what you would experience if you actually paid yourself the time to acknowledge what you have really truly done for yourself, and how you will feel when you have gifted yourself all you truly desire, instead of always gifting to others first.

Enjoy the imaginings my lovelies, and remember when you pay yourself first, living to laugh and laughing to live becomes a whole lot easier.

Ciao for now xx