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You don’t need fixing.

You don’t need fixing, because you are not broken.

I want you to read that again, but this time say “I don’t need fixing, because I am not broken”.

None of us are broken.

We are just really great at telling ourselves we are; some of us more so than others.

We beat ourselves up with some of the most unkind thoughts and beliefs out there, words which, if we spoke to our children, or our friends, would do untold damage to them.  

And yet we say these things to ourselves over and over again, day in day out, hour after hour and then we wonder why we are unhappy.

‘Fixing’ a broken heart, or healing from a trauma are two of the most common ways we start this process of hating on ourselves, and although we say we are not hating on ourselves, this is exactly what we are doing.

Telling ourselves we weren’t good enough, or that it was our fault something happened, that we should have known better are all ways we are preventing ourselves from seeing the lessons we are here to learn and grow from.

I know it can be difficult to see the positives from the negatives with some traumas, but if we are ever going to allow ourselves to move on from the traumas, then we really have to find the gold in the experience and use that to discover our inner beauty.

The art of Kintsugi is a beautiful analogy, with stunning results, which is widely known throughout the world, and yet many still do not know about this art, or the philosophy behind it.

The art of becoming more beautiful for having been broken.

Using the gold and silver lacquer to repair a broken bowl or vase, is a perfect visual for so many of us.

Some prefer to use the phrase “fake it until you make it”, others use the idea of “borrow the confidence others have in me until I believe it myself”, but regardless of which idea we use, it is always wise to remember we are not broken, so we don’t need fixing.

I prefer to think of us being the snake which needs to shed its skin.

The child who needs new clothes because of the growth spurts it goes through.

Neither are broken, just growing, evolving and expanding into a new stage of life.

One of the most beautiful elements of the journey my clients go through on the 7 Week Author Course is getting present to just how truly magnificent they are, and the incredible amount of greatness they have to offer the world.

They may never go on to publish the book, but the transformation which happens whilst writing it is the most important part of the process.

The book is the catalyst for the change, the evolution and the getting present to what is truly possible for them and their lives.

They come to realise they were never broken, and they never needed fixing; they just needed to see the elements of who they are from a different perspective, so they can adjust them accordingly for even greater growth and happiness.

When we invest the time, effort and money into writing our story, like I did with my first three books we get so present to a lot of the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, and we get to chose whether we continue with them or release them.

Writing about our journey so we can inspire others also becomes secondary, because we become so inspired by ourselves we don’t need to look outside of ourselves for inspiration; and then from that space we get to inspire others to be inspired by themselves.

Fixing what is not broken within our relationships, our businesses,the way we look, and everything else external, comes from the place within us where we believe we are not good enough, and in the professional sphere this is known as the imposter syndrome, which so many women suffer from.

We don’t need to fix what is not broken.

We are not broken.

We are whole and complete and we get to choose the words we say to ourselves.

We get to choose the beliefs we hold about ourselves, and yet so many choose to continue to struggle.

So many choose to continue to think the process of receiving everything we truly desire is not ours to have.  I know, I have been there.

When I become aware of what is truly possibly for me and my boys, old fears and doubts still come up.

I am not immune just because I am a transformational leadership coach who coaches women to write their autobiographies.

Sometimes my clients breakthroughs on the calls have such a profound impact on me, that I am called forward faster than ever because they have highlighted something on my own journey which needs addressing, and fast.

Being an author coach, executive contributor and feature writer for global magazines, as well as a writing my own books means I have to master my time incredibly well; especially as the research for my books and articles takes time.

Build into the equation my own coaching and training for my personal and professional development and growth and you’ll know why I only take on 4 clients on each round of the 7 Week Author Course, and only 3 1:1 clients at any one time for a period of 2 months.

Many believe 2 months and 7 weeks isn’t enough time for the transformation to take effect, but again this is a limiting belief; and one that can easily be overcome, if we allow ourselves to.

And here’s the thing, the things we think are broken, are not broken, they are just limiting beliefs which keep us stuck.

Beliefs borrowed from our parents, teachers, friends, society, culture and religion, and it is up to us to say “I choose to believe in myself, and return these borrowed beliefs back to sender” just like the junk mail we receive.

So, are you going to keep thinking to yourself you are broken, or are you ready to release that damaging belief?

The Feminine Alpha 7 Week Author Course is open for applications, and I am only going to work with 4 incredible women.  I haven’t accepted anyone as yet, so if you think you are ready, and wish to apply, contact me here and let’s have a connection call.

I don’t work with just anyone.  You have to be really serious about investing in yourself, your future and your legacy.

I also currently have just one more space for a 1:1 client to work with me over the next two months, so if you are ready to take the leap of faith in yourself, then message me and let’s see what transformation is truly possible for you and your life.

Remember, there is gold in every negative, beauty in every so called flaw, you just have to be open to seeing it.

Until the next time.

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Why are you not choosing?

Choosing what you might ask.

Well choosing you for a start.

I mean come off it, when was the last time you actually chose yourself over your children?

Chose to spend money on something for YOU, instead of paying for the latest smartphone, large screen TV or the sweets and chocolates at the checkout in the supermarket, just to get your kids to be quiet?

When was the last time you chose to

  • invest in a personal development course for you, rather than yet another overblown birthday party for your children because another child in their class had such and such for their birthday and went to such and a such a place, and now your child is wanting the same?
  • ask for that payrise and promotion you have been wanting, or that new client you really want to work with, but chose the fear of hiding rather than the joy of asking because you chose others opinions on your worth rather than your own self worth
  • have that all important conversation with a loved one making your feelings and thoughts heard, rather than ‘rocking the boat’ and ‘causing a problem’, choosing to live with the discomfort yourself, distractinng yourself and carrying the pain around with you
  • reach out to that person you have wanted to coach you, help you, support you and cheer you on, rather than going it alone and taking longer than necessary with the thoughts going around and around in your head, sending you crazy and keeping you stuck?

You see at this time of the year, so many people will be setting new goals, coming up with ideas on what they could be doing, should be doing and lying to themselves about actually making it happen.

And you are probably one of them.

No offence, but that’s the reality.

2020 is the year you are going to lose weight, go after that dream job, travel more and write that book that has been on the to do list since … I don’t know… forever?

But here we are already feeling like it is just too big a deal and what’s the actually point.  I mean it can wait until Monday when the week really starts, and the day after the day after has worn off and the kids are back at school, and you’re back at work, and … and … and …

Sound familiar?

Is this you? Or most likely someone you know?

Choosing ourselves in a world where there are so many ‘should do’, ‘have to’, ‘going to’ there is a pressure to come up with a resolve you are going to stick to for the next year.

But why should we stick at something for a year, especially as 3 or 4 months down the line we realise it is the wrong thing for us, or we are just not ‘feeling it’ any more?

Why are we allowing the pressures of society to tell us how to be, what to do, what to have and where to go, when we are the creators of our own lives?

I made a promise to myself that I would not accept new clients onto my 21 Day Vision Creation Challenge who were not going to stick it out for the 21 days; but who am I to tell people how to spend the $244* it currently requires to invest in the course?

Who am I though to tell people anything about how to live their lives?

Or how to spend their money?

I mean used to be one of those people who would do the exact opposite to what people told me I ‘should’ do, and even now I take what people tell me I should do with a pinch of salt, because who is anyone to tell us what to do?

Why do women need to ask their husband for permission to invest in themselves?

Or feel they have to lie about when they bought that new dress that’s hanging in the wardrobe that’s ‘been there for ages’?

Why do women spend money on their children, and on their home more than they do enabling their dreams to come true?

And what’s with the guilt of spending on yourself so you can become the woman you have always wanted to become? The woman you used to dream about becoming, but gave up on becoming when you met ‘the man of your dreams’ and ‘settled down and had kids’?

‘Settled’ being the operative word in that last sentence.

Why have you settled?

Settled for less than you desire.

Settled for less than you know you deserve.

Less money, less impact, less love, less happiness and less respect?

I’ll tell you why, because you stopped choosing yourself above all else because you were led to believe that choosing yourself above all else was a selfish thing, when in fact to actually lead and love others in the best way possible, it is an absolute must for you to choose yourself above all else.

How can anyone love you the way you want loving unless you actually know to love yourself?

How can anyone else know what you are worth, if you do not know how much you are worth?

How can anyone know who you really are, when you don’t even know who you are…

because you haven’t chosen YOU!

You have chosen a partner’s love for you over you own love for yourself, and you have chosen a life which you feel is acceptable to others, and expected of you, rather than choosing a life you love and being the woman you know you were born to be.

Yeah the job pays well.

Yeah you are seen as successful.

Yeah you have a good life.

But you know inside you are dying and it is time to STOP dying and START CHOOSING!

Choose yourself, each and every single day, rather just on New Year’s Eve, because that is what is expected.

Choose yourself and your dreams for the future, and then create the future you always dreamed of for you, and then your children, and then your partner, and then others… if you want to.

Because trust me, when you choose you, and you know how to honour yourself, the important people in your life will know who they are choosing to spend time with.

They will know how to honour you, and love you for who you truly are, rather than the ‘should do, have to and got to’ version of you.

And if you are a woman ready to invest in yourself now, without having to ask persmission from anyone else, then do it! Not tomorrow, not next week, not because it is New Year’s Eve, but because you get to choose who you wish to be in every moment of every day.

The 21 Day Vision Creation Challenge isn’t like the 21 Day Meditation Experience which Oprah and Deepak created, but it is built on the same 21 Day Principle of forming new habits and building momentum.

If writing a book about your journey to inspire and lead others is on the agenda, and you are a woman who is willing to play full out over 7 weeks, then the 7 Week Author Course may be the course for you.

Whatever it is in life you want, only you can go after it, so grab life by the ovaries and create the future like your life depends on it, because guess what…?

It does.

Find out more about me and the work I do by clicking on this link

For interviews and guest writer opportunities contact the team here or visit the media page to find out more.

*Price for the 21 Day Vision Creation Challenge goes up to $444 on the 11/1/2020 so ACT NOW to save $200