When the game changed…

When the game changed for you, what was it that made you finally take action?

What were the emotions and thoughts going through your body and your mind?

Whatever they were, they were powerful enough for you to know that life could not continue on the trajectory it was heading; without serious consequences.

Isn’t it sad that it takes something so painful, shocking or traumatic for so many of us to ‘wake up and smell the coffee’?

I knew the moment I set foot onboard Bark Europa for my Atlantic Ocean crossing, life would never be the same again.  It was either going to go ‘tits up’ or better than I could ever imagine.

Making the choice to invest in my next level of seamanship education, working on my next series of books and completing the next leg of my global book tour promoting my books was a HUGE step for me; and it had nothing to do with being out on the ocean for three months.

You see, for many of us trust is something that has been broken time and time again.  It has become our most prized possession, our most valued commodity, and we keep people at a distance for a whole plethora of reasons.

Abuse, betrayal, secrecy, fear; they are all part and parcel of why we don’t trust others.

For me, learning to trust others, was more about learning to trust myself, to trust myself, to trust others. Yes, you read that right, and no the repitition isn’t a mistake.

Learning to trust our own instincts, and learning to trust people at their word, can be a huge challenge for many of us; especially when it comes to women trusting other women.

And especially when it comes to our businesses, our livelihoods, the security of our family’s future.

Having had businesses with my ex-husband and fellow entrepreneurs in the past, embarking on a business venture by myself took a lot of soul searching.  A trust and a faith in myself that “I could do this!”

I always knew I would have a hugely successful business, measured on my own terms of success, not others.

I was confident in my abilities to run a business, but when I became a single parent, this was when the game changed for me the first time.

And I mean REALLY changed.

I was a lone wolf.  Trust went out the window, and yet I was determined to make my business a success.

Curve ball after curve ball, I managed to perfect the swing of the bat and knock them all for six, but deep down I was still unable to trust others to help me grow my business.

Why?

Because I still didn’t trust myself.

I questioned everybody, not just who they were and who they claimed to be, but their track records, the recommendations, and the motives behind their motives; the ones they were not even aware of.

Major paranoia set in, and I had to start a much deeper healing process.  It wasn’t enough to grunt and groan in the dojo during martial arts workout, expelling all the negative energy, I had to go deeper.

Hiring a VA was a big deal, especially as I had to give her passwords and access to emails and social media accounts for her to do her work.

The trust trigger went into overload and another round of inner healing had to take place.

A few months in, and although I thoroughly enjoyed this woman’s humour and drive, she started telling me what I needed to do to be successful.

Er…. I don’t think so love!

There was no way she was going to tell me how to run my business, THIS WAS MY BUSINESS!

Embarking on another journey was when the game changed again.  This time it was a more positive experience.

I met people on this 12 week online programme who got me, and 5 years later some of us are still cheering each other on and supporting each other.

One of the most beautiful things about joining a global online community of fellow learners is the friendships you make along the way, not just the insights, ‘a-ha! moments’ and awakenings along the way.

Realising many of us had similar experiences, struggles and blockages made us all feel more confident, and we knew we were no all alone and feeling like we didn’t get it, or not moving fast enough.

We were all where we were supposed to be and in the right place for all these lessons to take place; we had to trust the process.

And there was that 5 letter ‘T’ word raising it’s dangerous little head again.

You see, when we are on a journey of growth, of becoming the very best version of self, we get present to what it is that triggers something deep inside of us.

These places deep inside of us which have us respond aggressively, or run away from the things which make us uncomfortable, need healing; and it is only when we allow ourselves to heal from these deep wounds that we can really start to accelerate in all areas of life.

Crossing the Atlantic for me was like crossing the finish line of a long journey, one I knew once I had passed it, I would be ready to go to the next level.

I believed I had the right people on my team.  I had trusted them to honour their words, the ones they spoke to me, and put out there into the world.

I was confident that I would return to land and my business would be in a stronger position.

Unfortunately it wasn’t.

In fact, for the very first time in 21 years I experienced what it was like to not have made a sale in my businesses.

I felt like the wind had well and truly been knocked from my sails.

A track record of 21 years broken because I had trusted the wrong people with my business.

And what happened… yep, you guess it, that 5 letter word came back to haunt me and I had to go deeper into why I had trusted the wrong people.

Looking back now, just 5 months on, I have learnt some very valuable lessons, and I know these people came into my life to show me where the gaps were in my business, as well as my own leadership and responsibility.

My savings may have been almost wiped out, and the fund I’d created for an emergency flight and accomodation back in the UK to see my boys gone over night, but the learning has been valuable.

My savings are building again, the UK emergency fund is almost what it was and a new team has been built.

The global book tour is still underway and even though here in South America we are still in quaratine for being healthy, with no news on when the borders are to reopen on land or sea, I am more excited about the future than ever.

My goal of publishing 11 books in 2020 is still on target, three of which will be written by me and the others will be books written by my clients.

The new name for my publishing company has been sorted, and will publish books other publishers consider ‘too hot to handle’, gifting authors with a powerful story to make a huge difference in the world a platform and community to thrive in.

The Trilogy of Life Itself is having a make over and being released on even more platforms making it easier for everyone to get their hands on a copy of each one.

My first biography about an incredible woman who is leading the way and ignoring all the rules by simply being herself will be released in the next couple of months; so my laptop has had a hammering and my hands are ready for a full on manicure I can tell you!

With four online courses being launched in the next month, all designed with business owners and  budding authors in mind, I am making sure my business never has a break in the sales cycle ever again.

You see when the game changed for me, it changed in such a powerful way, one that lit a fire under my arse and made me rethink the people in my life, the way I do business, and the way I show up.

I didn’t embark upon this journey away from my boys and two fur babies to waste my time and not achieve everything I set out to do.  My boys are watching, and for me, that is the most powerful call to action I will ever have.

So I invite you, right now, to consider when the game changes for you, what will that look like? What would need to happen for you to take action like never before? And can you simply choose to take that action now, before it’s too late?

And as always, if you want to have a call with me to see what’s possible, then all you have to do is click on this link and book an appointment.

And if you are a woman who wants to dive in and take action right now, sign up for the Phoenix Rising: 21 Day Challenge which has just been lauched.

It is designed with the focused and driven woman in mind who wishes to alchemise a certain idea into reality, whether it is a new business, a community project, a house move or a global movement.

Maybe you are recently single and need to create a new vision for your future, whatever you want, this 21 Day Challenge is guaranteed to get you moving, provided you play full out and show up for yourself each and every day.

It’s already proven to create EPIC results in the lives of the women who have taken part, and the lives of those who these ladies are working with.

So again, I ask you, think back to when the game changed for you last time and consider what was it that made you finally take action?

Are you going to allow yourself to go there again, albeit it in a different way, or are you going to take action now?

 

And then I started crying

This morning I opened my What’s App message from my youngest son, and then I started crying.

“Are we cancelling the flights?” was all he had written; and with this simple questions my eyes filled with tears.

And even as I write this, they are still falling.

You see, they were supposed to be joining me in just 11 days.

Both of them together.

The last time we were together in person, just the three of us, was 14 months ago.

That’s a long time since we were the Travelling Trio on the road together .

Memories flooded to the surface and then I started crying all over again.

I saw them both individually 7 and 8 months ago; and I see them pretty much every day through the screen of my phone or my laptop.

But the thought of holding them both together in my arms, of kissing them both, and breathing them in deeply was a moment I was looking forward to the most.  

Yes we were going to have some incredible adventures around Argentina, but to just be able to hold my boys,

feel them next to me,

to just have them put their arms around me at any random given moment…

these are the moments I miss the most.

And yes, I know there are going to be people out there who will tell me “serves you right, you left them with their dad” and “what did you expect when you left them to go sailing around the world?”

But to these people, I send love, because they are living in judgement of others, without knowing the full story.

You see I dive deep into whether I have done the right thing by leaving my boys with their dad on a regular basis.

I have to.

I dive deep into the emotions, beliefs and challenges which come up for me daily, unblocking any potential blindspots which maybe holding me back.

I know this is only a temporary set back.

A postponement of their visit.

It is not a cancellation of it, just a delay.

And we all experience delays in our lives; and if we are honest with ourselves, we cause a lot of our own delays.

When we just keep moving through the emotions, as I am doing now, the tears stop falling, as they did a few sentences ago.

I have received more messages from my eldest and we are having a family meeting after my podcast interview in less than two hours.

It’s all good.

Emotions when we dive into them help us explore options, get creative and come up with new answers.

I know I am not going to cancel their flights, and the stubborn arse in me doesn’t even want to postpone the flights.

There is something deep inside of me which tells me the fear and hysteria has 11 days to die down and they will still be able to fly.

Governments will come to their senses…. if they had any at all in the beginning, and with the number of people recovering quickly and the breakthroughs happening, I know everything will be just fine.

Will the travel bans be lifted before the boys are due to fly?

Well, that will depend on whether the UK and Argentina choose to step out of fear and work together on this issue.

How likely that is given their history in the past, heaven only knows!

But I am choosing to remain positive.

I can only control one thing, and that is what is going on inside of me.  It is why I choose to eat healthily, it is why I choose to read and watch positive and informative content; and why I choose to write content in the way I do.

I sent my son the Bill Gates Ted Talk on where Bill predicted this kind of outbreak back in 2014.  How many people listened to him? How many people were even wanting to be ready?

And I repeat this last bit… “How many people were even wanting to be ready?”

My son is studying Computer Science, Physics and Further Maths, and loves the world of Dungeons and Dragons… for me he is a beautiful mix of the ancient and the modern, and incredibly smart…

Sometimes a little too smart for his own good, but that’s a different story!

My boys and I message each other daily with Ted Talks, Meme’s, articles, photos and messages of love and cheeky banter.

Without WiFi this global book tour and research trip for my next series of books would have been a lot harder to deal with.

As a mother who loves the outdoor life, I have hated my boys being on their tech so much.

“Get outside and play” I would say to them when they were little.  5 and 6 hour hikes in the Peak District National Park we would take on a Sunday with our dog.

We would spend hours in the park, weekends on road trips, and when we are together, nothing really changes.  We still have mad adventures, and we always will.

This challenge is a different kind of adventure.  Do we postpone or change the flights to somewhere else? Do I move up the Americas to Brazil? Because the event that is planned here in Buenos Aries is now going to be online, which I can do from anywhere.

I wanted to go to Iguazu Falls with the boys, take them horse riding, watch them enjoy ‘the best steak in the world’ and show them the Tango at one of the most amazing theatres here in Argentina, but maybe this isn’t the time.

Maybe it is time for me to move on and meet them in Rio?

Who knows what is going to happen in the next few days, next few hours even!

All we can do is just move forward, feel into the emotions, acknowledge them and allow them to show us what they need to show us, take what is needed from them and then move on.

Right now, for me, it is time to prepare for my podcast interview, have a coffee and some lunch, and then send some documents and workbooks to my clients.

Wherever we are physcially, mentally, financially and emotionally, we also have a choice on whether we stay in that space.  We always get to create a new vision, we always get to learn, we always get to sit and reflect on if where we are, is where we want to be.

This morning I posted some journalling questions on Facebook for those who are resisting being at home, the response has already been an interesting one.

Having just had another message from my youngest, I know he is now home from school.

He has sent a big massive grin through What’s App because I have told him we are not cancelling, just postponing…

And now it is time to sign off here, and go and speak with him, with them both… before I add photos, SEO, slugs etc to the rest of this post, and before my podcast interview, which I will of course share with you here once it is available.

Family first right? And just like this photo shows, my boys and I always create bridges… regardless of where we are.