Posted on

You don’t need fixing.

You don’t need fixing, because you are not broken.

I want you to read that again, but this time say “I don’t need fixing, because I am not broken”.

None of us are broken.

We are just really great at telling ourselves we are; some of us more so than others.

We beat ourselves up with some of the most unkind thoughts and beliefs out there, words which, if we spoke to our children, or our friends, would do untold damage to them.  

And yet we say these things to ourselves over and over again, day in day out, hour after hour and then we wonder why we are unhappy.

‘Fixing’ a broken heart, or healing from a trauma are two of the most common ways we start this process of hating on ourselves, and although we say we are not hating on ourselves, this is exactly what we are doing.

Telling ourselves we weren’t good enough, or that it was our fault something happened, that we should have known better are all ways we are preventing ourselves from seeing the lessons we are here to learn and grow from.

I know it can be difficult to see the positives from the negatives with some traumas, but if we are ever going to allow ourselves to move on from the traumas, then we really have to find the gold in the experience and use that to discover our inner beauty.

The art of Kintsugi is a beautiful analogy, with stunning results, which is widely known throughout the world, and yet many still do not know about this art, or the philosophy behind it.

The art of becoming more beautiful for having been broken.

Using the gold and silver lacquer to repair a broken bowl or vase, is a perfect visual for so many of us.

Some prefer to use the phrase “fake it until you make it”, others use the idea of “borrow the confidence others have in me until I believe it myself”, but regardless of which idea we use, it is always wise to remember we are not broken, so we don’t need fixing.

I prefer to think of us being the snake which needs to shed its skin.

The child who needs new clothes because of the growth spurts it goes through.

Neither are broken, just growing, evolving and expanding into a new stage of life.

One of the most beautiful elements of the journey my clients go through on the 7 Week Author Course is getting present to just how truly magnificent they are, and the incredible amount of greatness they have to offer the world.

They may never go on to publish the book, but the transformation which happens whilst writing it is the most important part of the process.

The book is the catalyst for the change, the evolution and the getting present to what is truly possible for them and their lives.

They come to realise they were never broken, and they never needed fixing; they just needed to see the elements of who they are from a different perspective, so they can adjust them accordingly for even greater growth and happiness.

When we invest the time, effort and money into writing our story, like I did with my first three books we get so present to a lot of the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves, and we get to chose whether we continue with them or release them.

Writing about our journey so we can inspire others also becomes secondary, because we become so inspired by ourselves we don’t need to look outside of ourselves for inspiration; and then from that space we get to inspire others to be inspired by themselves.

Fixing what is not broken within our relationships, our businesses,the way we look, and everything else external, comes from the place within us where we believe we are not good enough, and in the professional sphere this is known as the imposter syndrome, which so many women suffer from.

We don’t need to fix what is not broken.

We are not broken.

We are whole and complete and we get to choose the words we say to ourselves.

We get to choose the beliefs we hold about ourselves, and yet so many choose to continue to struggle.

So many choose to continue to think the process of receiving everything we truly desire is not ours to have.  I know, I have been there.

When I become aware of what is truly possibly for me and my boys, old fears and doubts still come up.

I am not immune just because I am a transformational leadership coach who coaches women to write their autobiographies.

Sometimes my clients breakthroughs on the calls have such a profound impact on me, that I am called forward faster than ever because they have highlighted something on my own journey which needs addressing, and fast.

Being an author coach, executive contributor and feature writer for global magazines, as well as a writing my own books means I have to master my time incredibly well; especially as the research for my books and articles takes time.

Build into the equation my own coaching and training for my personal and professional development and growth and you’ll know why I only take on 4 clients on each round of the 7 Week Author Course, and only 3 1:1 clients at any one time for a period of 2 months.

Many believe 2 months and 7 weeks isn’t enough time for the transformation to take effect, but again this is a limiting belief; and one that can easily be overcome, if we allow ourselves to.

And here’s the thing, the things we think are broken, are not broken, they are just limiting beliefs which keep us stuck.

Beliefs borrowed from our parents, teachers, friends, society, culture and religion, and it is up to us to say “I choose to believe in myself, and return these borrowed beliefs back to sender” just like the junk mail we receive.

So, are you going to keep thinking to yourself you are broken, or are you ready to release that damaging belief?

The Feminine Alpha 7 Week Author Course is open for applications, and I am only going to work with 4 incredible women.  I haven’t accepted anyone as yet, so if you think you are ready, and wish to apply, contact me here and let’s have a connection call.

I don’t work with just anyone.  You have to be really serious about investing in yourself, your future and your legacy.

I also currently have just one more space for a 1:1 client to work with me over the next two months, so if you are ready to take the leap of faith in yourself, then message me and let’s see what transformation is truly possible for you and your life.

Remember, there is gold in every negative, beauty in every so called flaw, you just have to be open to seeing it.

Until the next time.

Posted on

Ding! Dong! The Bitch is Dead!

Yep! You read that right.  The Bitch is dead!

Long gone are the days when the #BossBitch was the woman to follow in business. I mean who wants to be a bitch any way?

It is a nasty energy to sit in, and well… let’s be honest, anyone proud of being a bitch has got some deep healing to do.

There’s wounds to heal and an ego problem to go along with it, if you ask me; but as I have said before, this is only my opinion and as there are 6.9 billion in the world to choose from,  you are free to take your pick which one you listen to, or offer.

The idea that for a woman to be in businiess means she has to be a bitch is at least 20 years old, that I know of!

Women have more than moved on from the shoulders pads and breifcases, and sleeping their way to the top, wrecking marriages along the way; and being a #BossBitch to everyone who got in her way.

Today’s successful business leaders support other women, they build relationships with them, and they know that just because they celebrate another woman, it doesn’t mean she is any less successful. 

In fact, she is MORE successful!

And yet we STILL see women proudly owning the title of #BossBitch.

Why?

Why so eager to be known as a bitch? It has been a derogatory statement for as long as I have been alive, and to be quite frankly, it is an insult to the female dog from which it takes its name.

For those of us who own dogs, bitches in particular, we know they are protective of their owners, their home and of their significant other.

Those who have a dog and a bitch will know the bitch will turn on her own mate if he gets anywhere near the pups; and yet they will still snuggle up together and when one dies, the other one grieves deeply.

Over the last 5-10 years we have seen a huge shift in the way women are showing up in the world of business.  They are becoming more feminine, without being slutty.  They are using their intellect rather than their breasts to get ahead; and yet we are still seeing a huge gender gap when it comes to making money.

Quite frankly, we as women suck at asking for the sale.  We are so unsure of our worth, unsure of what prices to charge and yet we want a certain standard of life which means we live in struggle for a lot of the time.

AND THIS NEEDS TO STOP.

The only way it seeems, or so we are told by many of the online female business coaches, to have the life we want is to be a bitch.

I disagree, and so does Denise Duffield-Thomas who coaches from the space of being a lucky bitch.

But as she says, it has nothing to do with being lucky, or with being a bitch.

Did I just promote another woman on my page?

Someone who could take potential clients away from me?

Absolutely I did!

Because I am not in fear of losinng clients to Denise, because some people may not resonate with her, some may not resonate with me.

Plus there is so much abundance out there in the world, neither of us could possibly handle all the women in the world with our different coaching offers.

Heck our clients may even be the very same woman, just working on different areas of life.

And you know what, I LOVE her stuff! So why would I not share it here in my space?

I recommend films, I recommend cafes, I recommend all kinds of books, coaches and trainings, and just because I recommend Denise, doesn’t mean to say my clients will go running to her; and if they do, well then they do.

I am committed to my own goals, as are my clients.  They know when we work together they will get  amazing results; and fast.

Being a #BossBitch isn’t something to be proud of.

It isn’t appealing.

It isn’t feminine.

It isn’t even likeable.

So why, oh why do women still want to have the label? (Or the mug? There is a t-shirt to go with it too I hear).

Is it because they want people to know how tough they are?

Do they want people to know they are not to be messed with?

Do they really believe it is attractive?

Maybe they do, and many of the #BossBitches out there are doing incredibly well for themselves.

I just know that it is time we let go of the #BossBitch title and laid her to rest.  She served her purpose, but there is no future for the #BossBitch.

It is a borrowed term from the masculine world of patriachy and both modalities of thinking, behaving and being are over.

The Boss Bitch is dead, so let’s send her love, thank her for all she did and rise up in both a balance of feminine and masculine, embracing the Feminine Alpha within us.

No, not the masculine Alpha.  We have been in that zone for far too long as well.

We have entered the realm of the Feminine Alpha, a woman who is firmly in balance with all of who she is, and who knows when to be feminine and in flow, as well as when to hustle AND ask for everything she desires, without fear.

For there is no fear in the Feminine Alpha, because she knows, and trusts that everything is already hers, all she has to do is ask for it.

And on that note…

All you ladies out there with a creative vision for yourself and a group of ladies…

Who are looking to invest in yourself, improve your leadership skills, honour your boundaries, set new standards, receive money fast so you more than double your investment…

Wanting to speak your truth, become inspired by your story and inpsire other women by writing your book, your business card and key to many locked doors,

Become clear on your message, your product spectrum and how to franchise your message, this is for you!

I am opening the doors for my 7 Week Feminine Alpha course starting on the 22nd February.

If you want to know more, then click on this link and book a call in with me to sit if we get along, and to go through the details of what’s involved.

For those wanting to work with me in a different way, or you wish to read my books, this is the link for you

And whether you work with me or not, I still think you should buy my books… they’re pretty epic if I do say so myself.

Have a great day everyone, and remember to laugh, always, because life without laughter… well that’s just no fun at all is it!?

Live to laugh and laugh to live, it is the only way to live!

Ciao for now x