When you remove the aspect of money from the statement of ‘Pay yourself first’, what are you left with?
What else can you pay yourself with?
Many people will consider money the only thing they have to pay themselves with.
They will not consider the elements of paying themselves respect or compliments first, having been raised to believe that to compliment yourself is to be boastful.
What we choose to pay ourselves is a way of acknowledging our self worth and a way of understanding the impact we are having on others, directly and indirectly.
Take for example the work of a coach, the breakthroughs our clients have on the call, the knowledge and insights they gain, the actions they take each and every day of their lives after the calls, and the results they create in their lives moving forward.
Now some of us may offer a discount on our fees to see another thrive, I know I have many times. Serving others and seeing them rise is a great feeling.
But what happens after these people have got what they wanted and moved on to the next level coach?
Do they remember the foundations built with us, and the impact the sessions have really had?
This morning I was reminded of my time in Egypt as a Class Teacher.
Seeing a photo of a few of my students brought a lump to my throat, and I wondered if these children still thought of me as I think of them.
I know many of my FS1 students remember me because their parents still share with me things they are remembering about our classes together and the phrases they learnt from me, such as:
Small changes make a big difference,
such as change the ‘a’ in ‘fat’ to an ‘i’ and you get ‘fit’.
One of my students Ahmed remembered this so much he took my teachings on earting well and recently won a gold medal for his Egyptian swim team.
Can I take the glory for that? No, Ahmed took the coaching and ran with it, making it his own, but that seed was still planted when we worked together, by me sharing my knowledge, love and excitement with him.
I remember my first teacher. Mrs Daisly her name was. In fact, I can tell you all about my teachers, in fact if you read my first book Friday Bridge, you’ll see who these teachers went on to transform my life, especially Ms Eddon.
Ask me the name of any of my coaches, mentors and trainers, and I’ll be able to tell you. I acknowledge them still to this day by referring others to them, and by remaining in contact with them.
I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the people who have guided me, mentored and coached me… and kicked my backside with some of the harshest truths I have had in my life…
(Well apart from my mother and ex-husband, but that’s for another blog on another day).
Loyalty is a core value of mine, and I have had to learn to be more loyal to myself by paying myself compliments and acknowledging myself.
Paying others compliments and acknowledging them is a great thing to do, but it can lead to us taking away from our own part of the journey.
Gifting others the praise instead of ourselves is a form of self sabotage, because many times we forget that we also showed up to the calls, did the work, sat with the discomfort and allowed ourselves to be coached.
How many of us look to others for validation, when the validation we need, is the validation we give ourselves.
When we are not paying ourselves compliments first, and acknowledging our own journey, with all the twists and turns, bumps and potholes along the way, then we are doing ourselves a huge disservice.
When you consider the time and effort you have put into something, and the results you have achieved, don’t you think you should pay yourself first with a compliment or two?
What about all the bills you have coming in, that need to be paid? How are you going to pay for those if you haven’t acknowledged your own journey, skills and experience and priced your services and times accordingly?
And it’s not about the money to be honest with you.
It’s about the ability to pay yourself first with the integrity of your word to be the best version of self, to gift yourself the knowledge that you are worth more than you think you are.
To deliver on your promises, by understanding what you are saying, and of course what you are not saying.
Paying yourself first with the self belief that you are worthy of a life made up of ease and flow, without stressing that you have ‘too much to do’, or ‘do not enough time in the day’ is paramount.
Understanding the difference between a cost, investment and a debt in the non monetary sense is fundamental to any kind of growth, whether it is personal, professional or business.
When you gift yourself time in the morning to just BE, to spend time downloading the thoughts into a journal is the ability to pay yourself first each day with the gift of serenity, clarity of mind and inner peace.
Making sure you are able to pay your bills on time and in full, with ease and flow, is the ability to pay yourself first the ‘respect you deserve’ because you have charged your time accordingly, and chosen the right people to work with.
Being able to pay yourself first with sleep and exercise is honouring your body and mind, so you can honour your higher self; paying your future dreams the opportunity to materialise.
Saying you want one thing and doing something else which jeopardises the thing you want is paying yourself a dishonour and a disservice.
So I invite you today to look at how you are paying yourself, and in what order you are paying yourself.
What are you paying yourself?
What does your future look like if you continue on this path you are currently on?
And what will your future look like if you choose to pay yourself first all the non monetary gifts the world has to offer?
Ladies you can find out more what your future looks like by gifting yourself the Phoenix Rising Challenge, 21 Days of getting to know yourself on a whole new level, getting present to who you really are and the value you bring to the world.
Because let’s face it, when we hear and see the positive impact we have on the lives of others we can’t help but feel that warm fuzzy glow.
Imagine what you would experience if you actually paid yourself the time to acknowledge what you have really truly done for yourself, and how you will feel when you have gifted yourself all you truly desire, instead of always gifting to others first.
Enjoy the imaginings my lovelies, and remember when you pay yourself first, living to laugh and laughing to live becomes a whole lot easier.
Ciao for now xx
