Pay yourself first

When you remove the aspect of money from the statement of ‘Pay yourself first’, what are you left with?

What else can you pay yourself with?

Many people will consider money the only thing they have to pay themselves with.

They will not consider the elements of paying themselves respect or compliments first, having been raised to believe that to compliment yourself is to be boastful.

What we choose to pay ourselves is a way of acknowledging our self worth and a way of understanding the impact we are having on others, directly and indirectly.

Take for example the work of a coach, the breakthroughs our clients have on the call, the knowledge and insights they gain, the actions they take each and every day of their lives after the calls, and the results they create in their lives moving forward.

Now some of us may offer a discount on our fees to see another thrive, I know I have many times. Serving others and seeing them rise is a great feeling.

But what happens after these people have got what they wanted and moved on to the next level coach?

Do they remember the foundations built with us, and the impact the sessions have really had?

This morning I was reminded of my time in Egypt as a Class Teacher.

Seeing a photo of a few of my students brought a lump to my throat, and I wondered if these children still thought of me as I think of them.

I know many of my FS1 students remember me because their parents still share with me things they are remembering about our classes together and the phrases they learnt from me, such as:

Small changes make a big difference,

such as change the ‘a’ in ‘fat’ to an ‘i’ and you get ‘fit’.

One of my students Ahmed remembered this so much he took my teachings on earting well and recently won a gold medal for his Egyptian swim team.

Can I take the glory for that? No, Ahmed took the coaching and ran with it, making it his own, but that seed was still planted when we worked together, by me sharing my knowledge, love and excitement with him.

I remember my first teacher.  Mrs Daisly her name was.  In fact, I can tell you all about my teachers, in fact if you read my first book Friday Bridge, you’ll see who these teachers went on to transform my life, especially Ms Eddon.

Ask me the name of any of my coaches, mentors and trainers, and I’ll be able to tell you. I acknowledge them still to this day by referring others to them, and by remaining in contact with them.

I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without the people who have guided me, mentored and coached me… and kicked my backside with some of the harshest truths I have had in my life…

(Well apart from my mother and ex-husband, but that’s for another blog on another day).

Loyalty is a core value of mine, and I have had to learn to be more loyal to myself by paying myself compliments and acknowledging myself.

Paying others compliments and acknowledging them is a great thing to do, but it can lead to us taking away from our own part of the journey. 

Gifting others the praise instead of ourselves is a form of self sabotage, because many times we forget that we also showed up to the calls, did the work, sat with the discomfort and allowed ourselves to be coached.

How many of us look to others for validation, when the validation we need, is the validation we give ourselves.

When we are not paying ourselves compliments first, and acknowledging our own journey, with all the twists and turns, bumps and potholes along the way, then we are doing ourselves a huge disservice.

When you consider the time and effort you have put into something, and the results you have achieved, don’t you think you should pay yourself first with a compliment or two?

What about all the bills you have coming in, that need to be paid? How are you going to pay for those if you haven’t acknowledged your own journey, skills and experience and priced your services and times accordingly?

And it’s not about the money to be honest with you.

It’s about the ability to pay yourself first with the integrity of your word to be the best version of self, to gift yourself the knowledge that you are worth more than you think you are.

To deliver on your promises, by understanding what you are saying, and of course what you are not saying.

Paying yourself first with the self belief that you are worthy of a life made up of ease and flow, without stressing that you have ‘too much to do’, or ‘do not enough time in the day’ is paramount.

Understanding the difference between a cost, investment and a debt in the non monetary sense is fundamental to any kind of growth, whether it is personal, professional or business.

When you gift yourself time in the morning to just BE, to spend time downloading the thoughts into a journal is the ability to pay yourself first each day with the gift of serenity, clarity of mind and inner peace.

Making sure you are able to pay your bills on time and in full, with ease and flow, is the ability to pay yourself first the ‘respect you deserve’ because you have charged your time accordingly, and chosen the right people to work with.

Being able to pay yourself first with sleep and exercise is honouring your body and mind, so you can honour your higher self; paying your future dreams the opportunity to materialise. 

Saying you want one thing and doing something else which jeopardises the thing you want is paying yourself a dishonour and a disservice.

So I invite you today to look at how you are paying yourself, and in what order you are paying yourself.

What are you paying yourself?

What does your future look like if you continue on this path you are currently on?

And what will your future look like if you choose to pay yourself first all the non monetary gifts the world has to offer?

Ladies you can find out more what your future looks like by gifting yourself the Phoenix Rising Challenge, 21 Days of getting to know yourself on a whole new level, getting present to who you really are and the value you bring to the world.

Because let’s face it, when we hear and see the positive impact we have on the lives of others we can’t help but feel that warm fuzzy glow.

Imagine what you would experience if you actually paid yourself the time to acknowledge what you have really truly done for yourself, and how you will feel when you have gifted yourself all you truly desire, instead of always gifting to others first.

Enjoy the imaginings my lovelies, and remember when you pay yourself first, living to laugh and laughing to live becomes a whole lot easier.

Ciao for now xx





You were born for more than mediocrity

goosebump central

For years you have known you are different to everyone else.
You have always been on this mission to be the very best version of yourself. Reading books, attending training course after training course. Building upon your knowledge, and investing in yourself.

Then the time comes where you decide to go it alone.
You believe in yourself and your mission.
You play full out.
You put the hours in.
You do the work.
You hire people either as suppliers or as employees.
You share your message with your friends but none of them help you achieve your dreams.
Your suppliers are only interested in their own business.
They don’t recommend you to colleagues or friends, they are just looking after themselves.
You realise this is a one sided arrangement, and things need to change.
Surely they get the simple fact that the better you do, the better they do?
The more you support each others growth, the longer they will stay in business.
A win-win-win surely?

Then there are your friends.
All too happy to like a picture of your pets, or you on a night out.
You see people sharing photos of being trashed, and the more trashed they look or report to be, the more likes they get, the more comments and shares, but when it comes to you promoting your business, product or service, it is like a ghost town.
All but one person shares your offers on your social media page, whilst everyone else pretends to not have seen it.
They are too busy watching people getting trashed or puppies doing cute things to help a friend out.

And you begin to wonder… why am I surrounding myself with these people?
Do these friends really believe in me?
Do they want me to achieve success?
Do they simply prefer to see people covered in vomit on a night out rather than help a friend do something amazing to achieve their dreams?
That’s when you know you have to take a step back.
You start to distance your self from them.
You start to refuse nights out,
You don’t go out to meet people,
You become a loner, just focusing on your goals, only socialising from a distance. It’s easier to hide your disappointment and solitude that way.

You start to go inside yourself.
How did you become friends with these people when you are so vastly different?
Why are you not worth a click of a button for them to share your offers to their friends on social media?
Why can they not spend 5 minutes to write a testimonial about you?
Or simply invest in one of your products and then write a review?
Why do they never ask how business is going?
Why do they not support you in your goals?

You start to feel as though everyone is just using you,
Wanting your knowledge and expertise, that you have invested huge amounts of money in, but they want it for free.
They don’t care that you also have bills to pay, or holidays you wish to take.
They don’t care about you at all, all they care about is themselves.
You feel as though they are raping your energy.
You feel drained by them.
You sit there with your head in your hands, your heart filled with doubt and you cry.

You cry because you have allowed them to drain you, and you can’t do this any more.
You can’t be surrounded by scarcity and negativity.
You can’t allow them to use you anymore.
You have allowed them to feed your ego, as humble as it might be.
You’ve allowed them to build you up with their empty words and false promises.
You’ve allowed yourself to waste time with them,
You’ve allowed them to distract you from your goals.,
You’ve allowed them to take you further away from your dream life.

They value what you say,
They tell you that you inspire them, but not enough to work with you and invest in themselves.
They keep making excuses, dressed up as valid reasons.
And you finally know these are not your people.
Your people are the ones who will invest in themselves.
Your people are the ones who constantly strive to be the very best that they can be,
The ones who will always support you,
They share your posts on social media,
They recommend you to their friends, family, neighbours, their employer, hell even the stranger you meet in the cafe!
They buy your products,
They invest in themselves by paying for your services,
And they are the ones who will grow with you.
But first you must grow and make that break.

I get it. All of it. I’ve been there.
And I have come out of it the other side.
I have found soul mates around the world by taking my business on line, I have a team of people working with me in at least 4 different countries and the ones I am up levelling with are from all time zones and countries from around the world. I had to go on line to find those who truly got me, and the more I invested in each training course, each coach, each mentor, the more people like me started to show up.
I stepped away from those who would never be seen dead searching for free food or even reduced food in the supermarkets but were happy to only do a course if it was free.
Don’t get me wrong, signing up for the free stuff works. I even offer free challenges to others so they get to know me and trust my knowledge; but those who are the hunters of freebies will never be your people if you are an investor of your future. Those that haggle over price don’t know your worth. Do not respect your knowledge or experience and you are not born to serve those people, because they are not serving themselves. No one can serve these people until they start serving themselves, investing in themselves, in their futures and in the futures of their children and their parents.

You, and I, were made for better things. For the finer things in life, because we know our own self worth.

So do what you need to do to surround yourself with people who get you, who value you and will support you.
Everyone else is simply excess baggage.
I see you.
I hear you.
I feel you.

And when you are ready to hire a kick ass high vibing coach, you know where I am!

Much love,