Would they turn away in disgust as I have done for years at the sight of what I deem as ‘manky teeth’?

Would people be able to look at me and listen to the words coming out of my mouth? Or would they only see the ugliness of the teeth that had been hidden so beautifully beneath the surface?

With these thoughts and emotions presenting themselves, it made me consider my true beauty, especially as I’d been so judgemental about others and the state of their teeth.

Had I really been that conscious about needing to have the perfect smile?

Always the first to clean my teeth and drink water after anything acidic.

Always the one to be at the dentist every nine months for a polish and a check-up.

And the woman who’d reached her late thirties before even needing a filling.

Was this the mirror I needed to present to me the negative judgements I had on myself and others?

Was this an ugliness within my soul I needed to release?

Along with an attachment to my beautiful smile that needed dropping?

We all say a beautiful smile is the one that radiates from the eyes and the soul.

The mouth is only a small part of the smile, but do we believe this about ourselves on a deep energetic, unconscious level?

And what did all these new realisations mean?

What was I making them mean?

What was I projecting onto others that I had not been aware of until now?

Or had I been aware of them but choosing to ignore that part of myself?

What stories have I been making up about how loveable, attractive, and beautiful I am?

And does it matter if people saw these damaged teeth?

We’re all damaged in one way or another, some physically, others emotionally, many mentally. Others are spiritually and financially damaged, and who are we to judge them when we know nothing about their journey?

Kinder to others than we are ourselves, the default for so many of us, and here we are rising to the top of our game, meeting others where they are and preaching kindness, authenticity and honesty.

Are we kind to ourselves, being honest and authentic with the woman deep inside of us?

Are we loving the little girl inside of us, the one who was damaged by cruel words in the playground, the classroom, and in her own home?

The little girl longing to be seen, to be held, and loved for all of who she is, not just the way she looks?

Like the waves of my beloved ocean, the emotions washed over me.

Relentless, never-ending, like the sound of the dentist drill piercing my tough exterior, the protective shield I had built around me for me to feel safe.

Avoiding love, avoiding parts of my psyche I was blind to before this moment.

Realisation, awareness, choices to be made.

Lying there screaming in silent emotional pain, tears falling and yet hidden by the four hands from the two different dentists as they worked away drilling, filing, and grinding away healthy teeth to fix my beautiful smile.

Fear.

Rejection.

Embarrassment.

Shame.

Guilt.

Working through them all as I lay there, choosing to feel them, breathe through them, and release them.

Just like I work through the emotions of my clients as we write and prepare to publish their story and the post-publishing roller-coaster of emotions that follow.

Being seen for who we truly are is a bold move, one of courage and conviction, and one only the bravest of the brave are willing to take.

So many of us hide behind a metaphorical crown as we lead our teams, organisations, and our audiences around the world.

We carry a multitude of secrets and scars deep inside of us, some of them so traumatic we cannot even begin to fathom how on earth it could have happened for us.

We’ve got so great at avoiding and bypassing the shadows and recesses of our minds, until that song, that smell, that name, or that place reminds us of it all over again.

Back there. Hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling all of it, and just like before, we push it down, and each time we beat our personal best at ignoring, avoiding, and shifting past it.

But we are not shifting or releasing it, simply moving it to a different place, or back in its place, until the next time.

Because we know there is always the next time.

That’s why we are still avoiding it, running from it, holding ourselves hostage to something that happened for us, for us to shine a light on it so others can heal, rise, and avoid the avoidance.

We are passionate about our purpose in life, unraveling the myriad of myths in the world we live in, discovering the truth of ‘What if?’ is why we do the work we do, live the lives we live, and why we have become the women we have become.

We are leaders in so many unique and wonderful ways, and the world needs to hear our voices.  The causes closest to our hearts need a voice, a louder voice; isn’t that why we have aligned ourselves to these causes in the beginning?

Our charity work, or chosen avatar, our empathic tears falling, all signs of a deeper level of awakening needed within us.