It seems these days that getting your sexy on to sell yourself is the thing to do, especially when you are in the spotlight.

J-Lo slid into action on stage at the Super Bowl last night with her fingers mimicking a pussy stroke and we are all aware of the crotch grabs Michael Jackson used to make.

Did J-Lo and Shakira look amazing? You bet they did! And both reminded me of Tina Turner in her 50’s showing the older women amongst us, that we’re never too old to get our sexy on.

Check your social media feeds and you are pretty much guaranteed someone in your feed, or an advert, will pop up with with a sexy image or short video, some bordering on sexually graphic, which would have previously been censored.

Whether it is the latest influencer in business, a homemade yoga tutorial or a well positionned photo, there is going to be a woman getting her sexy on or post which will make you uncomfortable, and not always in a negative way.

Guys may have to to adjust their trousers, women may have to shift a little in their seat, but it doesn’t really matter who you are, or who’s on your newsfeed, the discomfort of your own judgements or sexual privacy will get triggered on some level.

Maybe you will be thinking about your children and hoping they are not seeing this.

Maybe you will see a post from someone who is ’embracing’ their sexual awakening.

And maybe you will see references to a part of someones life which makes you do a double take and ask yourself “Did I really just see that from them?”

I know my own transformation has shocked a lot of people on many levels, but the one thing I know is this.  Gyrating in a skimpy swimsuit or bikini for an Instagram video, or a full on crotch shot isn’t something my followers are going to see from me.

Whilst I acknowledge the theory of ‘pussy power’ and the Divine Feminine within, not to mention our womb space as women being our most powerful space of creation (I am a mother afterall), I really do wonder whether this new wave of ‘owning our Divine Feminine’ is the way forward; especially for the younger females out there on their own journey of discovery. 

Are we really empowering them? Or are we causing more problems for their mental health and body conscious beliefs?

As a mother to two very handsome young men, and an aunty to 3 beautiful young ladies, all now in their teens, I am watching and listening with extra attention.

A few years ago I upset my eldest neice because I commented on a post she was tagged in on Facebook by some ‘friends’.  My intention wasn’t to upset her, it was to protect her from the sleaze bag men who were liking and commenting on the post due to the graphic nature of the photo her friend had posted.

What this young girl had failed to undertand is that by oversexualising herself in this photo on Facebook, and allowing it to be seen publicly, tagging her friends in it, she had made them all a target for men to ‘get their rocks off’.

Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying us women should hide who we are, but when an 11 year old girl posts a photo of herself in an overtly sexual manner, and tags her friends in it, they all become a target for the unsavouries out there.

A while ago, whilst on a social media training, I heard this mentor tell us “add everyone who sends you a friend request.  It builds up your audience and never delete a friend request, because they simply become your followers, even if you do not accept their request”.

I then checked the ‘friends’ of the women who seemed to be crushing it online.  I noticed a lot of the ‘friends’ were men from the Asian sub-continent, Africans and various other countries where women are not as liberated sexually in publlic.

I then checked the number of comment and likes on their posts, and again the majority were from thesee men or from their female friends telling them how hot they looked in the bikini or crotch shot.

Again, don’t get me wrong, I am all for female empowerment and complimenting my fellow woman on how amazing she looks (Check out my last post) and celebrating her successes, but if we are thrusting our yonis or gyrating our gorgeous arses in people’s faces whilst in a near invisible swimsuit or bikini, aren’t we just selling ourselves short?

Stroke your own pussy, gain pleasure from your yoni, have a powerful full body orgasm, and yes, talk about these things so we can overcome and deal with the body shaming, slut shaming and sexual healing, but let’s consider the younger girls who are watching and don’t actually understand who they are or the power they have yet.

Women are beautiful in all shapes and sizes.  Our vaginas are gorgeous in all their juicy lushness, but so are our hearts and minds.

The young girls with great minds are still very much in need of our help; as are the girls who are not ‘the pretty ones’ who feel confident in a swimsuit or their PE kit at school.

They are still being bullied.

These young girls are still having doubts in themselves, and if we are really going to empower women of the future, then let’s make ‘mindgasms’ something to be celebrated; because let’s be honest ladies, a man who doesn’t stimulate our mind as well as our bodies isn’t going to be around for very long.

The men who do not know how to stimulate our minds won’t be the kind of guy who we sign a million dollar contract with or spend the rest of our lives with either.

We are more than our sexuality.

We are more than how ‘juicy’ our pussy is.

We are more than how great our breasts look in the photo for our Instagram profile, or how great our asses look in that red hot photo which would look great on the calendar in a mechanics workshop.

We are women, capable of so much more than even we give ourselves credit for.

We can create great things.

We can grow a human being in our womb space, and then push it out with such force most men pass out!

We feed the baby on our breast milk alone for months, years even, and then raise these incredible humans… sadly putting ourselves last time and time again.

It is time to stop limiting ourselves.

It is time to really own our own power.

It is time to be ALL of who you were born to be.  Mind. Body. Soul. Consciousness. Positive and powerful impact. Leaders for a new generation of women.

Because let’s face it, when looking at female leaders around the world, the ones we truly remember and respect… How many of those waved their pussy in your face?


Rhonda Byrne?

Frida Kahlo?

Coco Chanel?

Rosa Parks?

Mother Theresa?

Ellen MacArthur?

Reese Witherspoon?

Dame Judi Dench?

Have you ever seen them gyrating in a skimpy bikini thrusting their pussies in your face?

How about the leading men of the world?

Barack Obama?

Gary Vaynerchuk?

David Attenborough?

Sigmund Frued?

Tony Robbins?

Nelson Mandela?

Matt Damon?

Do you see them waving their manhood around on social media in a mankini?

No neither do I. Neither would I want to.


Because they know their message doesn’t require a shot or a grope of their penis for validation because they know they themselves are enough, and that makes their leadership so much more powerful.

So ask yourselves ladies, if you were to show up in the online space without relying on your sexuality, skimpy bikinis, and breast shots, and yet still owning your Divine Feminine, what would that look like for you?

Do you know you are powerful enough? Do you truly believe you are enough?  I’d like to hear from you.  And if you are the host of a podcast and would like to discuss this further with me, contact me here and let’s get me booked in on your show.