Yesterday on a call with a dear friend of mine, she said “It’s nice to see you cry, and see you show your human side Dawn”
And then she said “Well you know, not nice to see you cry, but you know what I mean. You’re always so positive and happy”.
And she’s right, I am always so positive and happy, what do I have to be miserable of negative about?
The tears were due to the happiness of knowing I’m going to be with my boys in 5 weeks time here in Buenos Aries.
I haven’t been able to hug them since July and August last year due to crossing the Atlantic and heading up to Buenos Aries to deliver the next round of the 7 Week Author Course for Feminine Alphas.
I then got emotional again during our call when she praised me for the leadership I am giving to my boys, how proud of me she is, and all the other wonderful words she said to me.
Last week another one of my dear friends took the time to acknowledge the fact that this journey cannot be easy for me.
“Dawn you are travelling around the world by yourself, away from your boys, your dogs, family and friends. You constantly do the inner work and are relentless in your productivity, AS WELL AS travelling the world by yourself, navigating laws, cultures and languages. I am so proud of you honey!”
I cried then too.
Two days after that, another of my dearest friends told “Will you just get present to what you have achieved Dawn! Look at how far you have come in just 2 years. You’re AMAZING!”
Again the happy tears flowed.
These three beautiful women, yep all women, stepped into my world and saw how challenging this journey is for me at times.
It isn’t easy, but neither was pregnancy, and neither has been raising children; but like most other women who are blessed to have children (and it is a blessing), we still went ahead and grew a baby inside of ourselves, gave birth and raised some pretty spectacular humans.
My friend yesterday got me thinking about what it actually means to ‘show your human side’ and our perception of others.
I am a very honest person, wear my heart on my sleeve, as some would say.
I go off on passionate rants, giggle lots during live streams (when I do them) and do my best not to scratch when those blood sucking mosquitoes bite the heck out of my juicy, sweet tasting body.
I get excited when friends succeed. I go all gooey and mushy when I see dogs; And when I see these two beauties in this photo, I am probably going to get more excited than them, then cry my eyes out with more happy tears!
(I do promise not to pee all over them with excitement though, as they are more than likely going to do to me when I scoop them up off the floor in my arms!)
Yep, tears are welling up now.
And it is not because I am sad.
It is just from the love I have for them, and the happiness I know I am going to feel as I fall to the floor and have them both clambering all over me and following me around everywhere I go when we are reunited.
(Another reason to haul arse and get my yacht, so they too can come live with me! Got their life jackets and yacht guards sorted already!!).
I am a big softie.
I cry at happy moments in movies.
I cover my face with a cushion when I get tricked into watching horror movies; and then because I am so into the movie and need to know what happens next, I sit there gripping the cushion like my life depends on it.
I would say like a white knuckle rollercoaster, but my arms are more than likely to be in the air with me laughing on one of those!
“Show your human side” is something I do with my writing, my coaching, when I am speaking on podcasts, radio, TV or the stage (You can book me here for any of those)
Yesterday I got voted ‘Article of the Week‘ on LinkedIn and I was so humbled that someone could nominate my writing for that title when there are so many wonderful writers in her space.
I walk along the street, head in a book, or in amazement at the plants and trees; and when I lay down on the grass or the deck of a boat I am always looking at the clouds to see what images I can make out within them.
I am scared of love, and if a man tries to speak with me about anything more than a subject I have written about, or business in one way or another, I surrounded myself with armour and want to go hide in the Safe Room in my mind and soul.
Being in a relationship is something I would love to experience again, but after my divorce, and the last relationship I was in, I don’t even go out at night to socialise.
I much prefering to stay home and read a book or watch a Spanish film, TV Series or documentary, so I can improve my Spanish. (Loving Les Chicas de Cable at the moment on Netflix!)
If I go out, it is during the day to a cafe to read, write or meet new friends; and of course the visit to the shops to buy my avocados and peanut butter.
You see even though I don’t share all of this ‘human side of me’, it doesn’t mean I am putting on a brave face or positive smile all the time.
I am genuinely a really positive person, always have been, always will be. It’s just the way I am.
There is so much to be grateful for in life. So much.
There is so much to be happy about. Really, truly there is.
I mean, just look at those two little faces next to me in the photo!! How cute are they!?
And if they don’t make you happy, well the look of surprise on my face should make you chuckle! And if you knew what I was saying to the photographer James Barton , trust me, you would be laughing!
I used to feel sorry for people who couldn’t find the positives in every negative, used to think people were just really ungrateful, but now I realise these people just don’t have the tools needed in life to discover gratitude.
I know I am what some would say very lucky, but just like Samuel Goldwyn says “The harder I work, the luckier I get”. I do work hard, but I also work smart, and it is the combined efforts of this relentless effort, gratitude, high energy and joy at the simple things in life, which bring me all this ‘luck’.
Sometimes the ‘human side’ of others shocks me. Like a comment made by someone else the other day to me in a message, where she was having a passive spiteful and jealous dig at my ‘no doubt luxury location’.
Sometimess this ‘human side’ is ugly, and that’s OK.
It’s a wake up call of how not to be, and to be aware of the energy we send out into the world.
It doesn’t matter how people try and take back what they said on how it was meant, the energy sent with it still lands.
I just felt sad for this woman that she couldn’t look out of her own window, or at her own surroundings and feel happy about the place she chooses to be in, rather than her being blind to the real abundance and luxury in her own life.
As for you all seeing me cry, well I am not really one to take photos of myself.
I have had to learn to do this, but it’s not really my thing even when I am in a great space, so when I am crying or feeling a bit ‘meh’ as my youngest son calls it, I am not going to start taking photos, adjusting the light, setting up a selfie.
I would rather feel into the emotions coming up for me, acknowledge them, discover why they are there and then have the ugly crying, snotty runny nose moments all to myself.
They don’t happen often, because I know how to do self care, and as you read at the beginning of this post, I have some really wonderful girlfriends who are there to support me.
Life is great.
Life is simple.
Life can be confusing, and messy, but on the whole, when you look at the amazing piece of engineering we are, and the beautiful planet and eco-systems surrounding us, life if pretty fucking amazing!
So why not choose happiness?
Why not choose to live to laugh and laugh to live?
Because when we do, and we choose gratitude and joy, life takes on a whole new level of wonderment.
Enjoy your day folks, and be you, show your human side, all of them, whenever and however being human feels for you in any given moment.
With love, as always,
Dawn x