I was going to write a whole different post, but I just feel I need to address the issue of women putting themselves first before I write the other post.

One of the things many of my female clients have all had to work on is putting themselves first.

So many women are stuck in a life of servitude to others; whether that is their parents, their partner or spouse, and most definitely most of the time their children.

Many are in a downward spiral of being the martyr to their children, sacrificing who they are and what they want AND need, simply to please others.


Slavery, as far I am know is not a legal practice, and yet women are slaves to their families, their workplaces, their businesses even, and we all know how most women are slaves to fashion and keeping up with the Jones´.

We objected to salvery decades ago in the Western world.  We object still to this day about child labour and align it with child slavery in some cases.

AND so many employees object to ´slave labour´ when their bosses expect more from them and refuse to give a pay rise; so much so they proclaim “What do you think this is? Slave labour!?”

Women are stuggling the world over in so many different ways, whether that is in the workplace and being respected,

struggling to make ends meet as a single parent,

struggling with their weight,

struggling to fit everything into 24 hours including their job, the housework, being a mum, being a good wife and…

then they end up struggling to go to sleep because of the never ending number of tasks on their to do list.

And ladies, I am here to tell you that you really need to own the fact that you are a woman who matters and you HAVE TO STOP being a bloody doormat to people that say they love and care about you.

If these people really truly loved you, they would stop dumping everything they need upon you; but then again, if you loved yourself you wouldn´t let them dump everything upon you, and you would start putting yourself first.

You see, the simple thing is you are trying to please everyone because you live in fear day in, day out.

Fear of not being enough.

Fear of letting people down.

Fear of your kids missing out.

Fear of becoming a single parent.

Fear of being a bad parent.

Fear of not having the right lifestyle.

Fear of failing.

Fear of not being beautiful enough, confident enough, rich enough, smart enough and all the other enoughs out there you can think of.

YOu are afriad of fear of fear itself.



How on earth are you going to show your daughter or nieces what it is to love themselves, and how to be treated respectfully, if you do not love and respect yourself?

And how are you going to teach your son and nephews how to honour a women, and themselves if they see their mother martyring herself every minute of the day?

How are you going to allow your husband or ex-husband to stop bullying you if you do not say “I am not going to be bullied into doing what you want me to do, when you want me to do it?”

I am currently watching Los Chicas de Cables on Netflix and what I am seeing today in many parts of the world is the same attitudes towards women, by both men and women, and the governments in some cases, that were apparent in Europe in the 1920´s.


Attitudes from over 100 years ago still present in today´s society and women are ALLOWING it to HAPPEN.

And to all those of you who are not seeing the beautiful women in your life as a whole and complete person with dreams and aspirations, with a zest for life and energy that is infectious, then consider that she is sacrificing who she is in at least 2 areas of life.

And also consider how you yourself are treating her.

Women have been abused and bullied since the onsalught of Patriachy; and yes, I use the word onslaught in full knowledge and understanding of this word.

And yes, I know women are not the only ones to be bullied.

It happens to men as well, by women who see them only as a bank account to the lifestyle they desire; leaving the men unable to breathe under the pressure of keeping everything together so his Queen can have everything she ever dreamed of.

Well, here´s a newsflash for you too all you men out there.


If you are not putting yourself first, ask yourself why not?

If your partner or spouse is not encouraging you to be the very best version of yourself, fulfilling the dreams you have always had, then does they really care about you?

I doubt it.

And if you are the partner or spouse taking advantage of the person you say you´re in love with, the person who encourages you to be the very best version of yourself so you can fulfil your dreams, then quite simply you have work to do on yourself, AND you need to get a new attitude.

The only way mental health and society as a whole are going to improve, with suicide rates declining, along with diabetes, eating disorders, heart problems and toxic co-dependencies cases being reduced is when we all start setting standards and boundaries which honour ourselves first.

Stress levels are at an all time high in the workplace, at home and in schools, and it is starting to affect small children who really shouldn´t have nothing to be stressed about.

People say they don´t believe in all the ´energy and vibration talk´ but tell me you can´t tell when someone has just had a heated argument or hot, passionate sex just before you walk into a room.

Children sense the struggle, shame, guilt, exhaustion, and the downtrodded and the bullied, not to mention the fear like a dog can sense a bitch on heat.

So for heavens sake people, wake up, stop martyring yourself and stand up for yourself!

Start putting yourself first.

Live your dreams.

Be in love with your own life

Learn to say NO to the things you don´t want and a lot more YES to the things you do want.

You are not a slave, and it is not Black Friday* so do yourself and everyone else a favour and get some self respect and self love in your life.

Rant over.

As you were.

*And for all those who want to know why I referenced Black Friday, and why I will never buy anything or sell anything on a Black Friday Promotion, it is because Black Friday Sales are the legacy of the day black slaves from 100´s of years ago would be sold off at a discount simply because they are black.

I want no part of that, will have no part in it and all those who say they are against racism and what it stands for, all those who are ´spiritually enlightened´ and understand how we are all connected, maybe you would like to reconsider your own Black Friday involvement.

Just a thought.